https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/22928614
艾伦·德詹尼斯，1958年1月26日出生于美国路易斯安纳州梅泰里，美国主持人、演员。凭借出众的诙谐幽默的口才和喜剧天赋，活跃在电视电影等多个领域。艾伦风趣自然的风格似乎与生俱来，她在杜兰大学的演讲延续了自己的幽默风格，艾伦拆分了 commencement，在“笑果”十足的短短演说中透漏了自己艰辛的成长历程，让人从中受到很大鼓舞，她还给毕业生们以诚恳的建议，让毕业生收益匪浅。
Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen;distinguished guests, undistinguished guests—you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher.
尊敬的考恩校长，校长夫人，尊敬的嘉宾——你们知道自己是谁，不用介绍了，尊敬的老师们，还有令人害怕的西班牙语老师，感谢你们！
And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, I realize most of you are hung over and have splitting headaches and haven‘t slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can‘t graduate till I finish, so listen up.
尊敬的所有杜兰大学2009届毕业生们！我知道你们绝大多数人还因为宿醉而头痛欲裂，狂欢到今天都还没有睡觉。但没听完我演讲不能毕业，所以要注意听了。
When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to look up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portia‘s, and they‘re all written in Australian. So I had to break the word down myself, to find out the meaning.
当我应邀来发表毕业演讲时，我毫不犹豫就答应了，然后我才去查毕业典礼是什么意思。如果我有字典的话就轻松多了，但我家大多数的书都是波西米亚的，而且都是澳式英语，所以我得自己拆分单词，摸索它的意思。
Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother‘s back. So there‘s that. But I‘m honored that you‘ve asked me here to speak at your common cement.
commencement 由 commen 和 cement 构成，意思是“常见的水泥”。在人行道上你常看见水泥。人行道上有裂缝，你踩到了裂缝，撞伤了你妈妈的背。意思就是这样。但是我很荣幸应邀给你们做“常见的水泥”演讲。
I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus—alumini—aluminum—alumis—you had to graduate from this school. And I didn‘t go to college here, and I don‘t know if President Cowan knows, I didn‘t go to any college at all. Any college. And I‘m not saying you wasted your time,or money, but look at me, I"m a huge celebrity.
我本以为要够有名，必须要是校友才能来。我没在这儿上过大学，而且，不知道考恩校长知道不知道，我完全没念过大学。任何一所大学。我不是说你们在浪费时间和金钱，看看我，我可是超越成功的名人。
Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. I spent a lot of time here growing up. My mom worked at Newcome and I would go there every time I needed to steal something out of her purse. But why am I here today? Clearly not to steal, you‘re too far away and I‘d never get away with it.
但是我确实从历经磨难的生活这所学校毕业了，我们的吉祥物就是磨难和挫折。我在此度过了许多成长岁月。我妈妈在纽科姆工作，每当我需要从她的钱包里偷偷拿些东西的时候，我都会去找她。但今天我为什么来到这里呢？很明显我不是想要偷你们的钱，你们离我太远了，而且我也跑不了。
I‘m here because of you. Because I can‘t think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class. I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. Usually when you‘re wearing arobe at 10 in the morning, it means you‘ve given up. I‘m here because I love New Orleans. I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here I only did laundry six times.
我来这儿是因为你们。没有比你们更坚韧更勇敢的毕业生了。我是说，看看你们每一个人都身着学士袍。通常在早上10点还穿着睡袍，说明你们已经放弃人生了。今天我来到这里，因为我热爱纽奥良，我在这里出生，在这里长大，在这里度过了年少岁月。和你们一样，我在这里生活时，只洗过六次衣服。
When I finished school, I was completely lost. And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway. And I—I really, I had no ambition, I didn‘t know what I wanted to do. I did everything from—I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vaccuum cleaners, I had no idea. And I thought I‘d just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basiccable, maybe not, I didn‘t really have a plan, my point is that, by the time I was your age, I really thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea.
当我毕业后，我完全迷失了。我指的学校是初中，但是我接着上学，念完了高中。但我当时真的没有什么野心，不知道自己想做什么。我什么都做。我剥过牡蛎，当过迎宾员，做过酒保、服务员，粉刷过房子，卖过吸尘器。我完全不知道自己想做什么。我想随便找个工作稳定下来，只要有足够的钱付房租，可能有一台电视也可能没有。我完全没有计划。我要说的重点是，我像你们这么大的时候，我真的以为我了解自己，但其实并不了解。
Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this pathwas from a very tragic event. I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident, and I didn‘t know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her.
总之，当时我不知道自己的一生要干什么，最后因为一件十分悲惨的事情，我找到了自己的目标。可能是在19岁时，我的女朋友在一次车祸中身亡。我经过事故现场时不知道是她，就继续走，但不久我就发现，那就是她。
And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas.And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don‘t understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn‘t it be so convenient if we could pick up the phoneand call God, and ask these questions.
当时我住在地下室的公寓里，我没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气，只是在地板上铺一个垫子，房间里到处都是跳骚。我感到困惑不已，我在想，“为什么她突然走了？为什么我住在满是跳骚的屋子里？”我无法理解，但一定有理由的，要是能直接拿起电话问上帝不是太好了吗？
And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God,which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn‘t even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I‘m gonna do this onthe Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"—at the time he was the king—"and I‘m gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.
于是我开始些东西，脑海中涌现出一段与上帝的对话，那是只有我一个人的独白。写完之后，我看着我写的东西，对自己讲话。那时，我还没有开始做单人脱口秀节目，因为当时纽奥良没有俱乐部。我说，我将要在“今夜秀”上和约翰尼·卡森一起表演这一段。他当时是主持界大王，我将成为该节目史上第一个被他访问的女性。数年之后，我成了该节目史上第一位，也是唯一一位和约翰尼一起坐下被访问的女性，全是因为我写的“与上帝打电话对话”的剧本。
And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard,because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I wasgay. And I thought if people found out they wouldn‘t like me, they wouldn‘t laugh at me.
从此我开始做单人脱口秀节目，非常成功，非常棒，但也非常艰难，因为我想取悦每一个人，我守着自己是同志的秘密，我想每个人要是发现我是同性恋，就不会喜欢我了，还会嘲笑我。
Then my career turned into—I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. And I thought, what if they find out I‘m gay, then they‘ll never watch, and this wasa long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents—this was back, many years ago—and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn‘t live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.
接着，我有了自己的喜剧，也很成功，更进一步的成功。我又在想，要是人们发现我是同性恋了，该怎么办？他们再也不会看我的节目了。这是很早以前事情，你们可能不知道，这是我们的总统还是白人的时候，那是多年前的事了。我最后决定，我一直都是带着羞耻和恐惧而活，我不能再这么活着了。我最终决定将这个秘密公之于众，要有创造性。
And my character would come out at the same time,and it wasn‘t to make a political statement, it wasn‘t to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest. And I thought, "What‘s the worst that could happen? I can lose my career". I did. I lost my career. The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper. The phone didn‘t ring for three years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted to touch me at all.
同时也要将我真实的个性展示出来，不是为了政治，也不是为了其它原因，只是要把我从背负已久的沉重的枷锁中解脱出来。我只是想要诚实。我想不会有更惨的事情了。失去演绎事业吗？结果我真的失去了我的演艺事业。我的节目在做了六年后，没有告诉我就停播了。我是看了报纸才知道的。家里的电话三年没有响过，没人想让我做节目。没人愿意碰我。
Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn‘t, because of what I did. And I realised that I had a purpose. And it wasn‘t just about me and it wasn‘t about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished... it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow. And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it. And most stations didn‘t want to pick it up. Most people didn‘t want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.
然而我接到了想要自杀的孩子的来信，他们因为我所做的而没有自杀。我才知道我活在世上是有目的的，不仅是因为我，不仅仅是因为我是名人，我感觉我是在受惩罚。那段时间很艰难，我很愤怒，也很难过，接着有人找我做脱口秀节目。制作单位努力想要卖出节目，但大多数的电视台都不想要。大多数人都不想要，因为他们认为没人想看我的节目。
Really when I look back on it, I wouldn‘t change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that‘s what‘s gotten me to this place. I don‘t live in fear, I‘m free, I have no secrets.and I know I‘ll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.
当我回首这些往事的时候，我一点也不会改变。因为我发现，即使失去一切，最重要的是做真正的自己。最终，我来到了这里。我不再恐惧，我感觉很自在，也不再有秘密，而且我知道一切都会很好的，因为无论如何，我知道我是谁。
So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies. To quote the Pussycat Dolls. How many people thought it was "boobies", by the way? It‘s not, it‘s "groupies".
所以这还不是结论的结论，我年轻时，对成功有着不同的定义，我的志向是长大后要周游全世界、开名车。有一批流行乐团歌迷，引用“小野猫”这个组合。有多少人听成是“傻瓜”？并不是“流行乐团歌迷”。
But my idea of success is different today. And as you grow, you‘ll realise the definition of success changes.
但今天我对成功的定义变了。你们长大后就会明白，对成功的定义是会改变的。
For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure. to try to be something that you‘re not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. To contribute in some way.
你们长大后就会明白，对成功的定义是会改变的。你们中的许多人对成功的定义就是灌完20杯龙舌兰烈酒。我认为，你们生活中最重要的事情就是要活得诚实正直，别屈从于同伴的压力，把自己变成本不是的那个人。要活得诚实，有同情心，要在某个方面有所贡献。
So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else‘s path, unless you‘re in the woods and you‘re lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that. Don‘t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Don‘t take anyone‘s advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.
这是结论的结论，追随热情，忠于自我。永远不要追随别人的脚步，除非你在森林里迷了路才能这么做，那时你真的该这么做。别给人忠告，它们会给你带来麻烦。也别接受任何别人的忠告。那么我要给大家的忠告是，做真正的自己，一切都会顺利的。
And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there‘s no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. It‘s gonna begreat. You‘ve already survived a hurricane. What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview. Like, "Is it above sea level?" .
我知道，在座的许多人都担心自己的前途，但不用担心。经济正在急速增长，就业市场极为广阔，地球也好得很。一切都会好的。你们经历了飓风，还有什么害怕的呢？我之前说过，从最惨痛的经历中可以吸收很多教训。现在你们知道在你们的第一次面试中该问什么样的问题了吧？比如，公司高于海平面吗？（纽奥良地势低而淹水）
So to conclude my conclusion that I‘ve previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I‘m trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you‘ll have more beads than you know what to do with. And you‘ll be drunk, most of the time.
总结我之前的结论，我的“常见的水泥”演讲，我想说的是，人生就像一场狂欢节嘉年华，但请展现你们的头脑，而非胸部，如果人家欣赏的话你就有更多的金银财宝可以使用，而且在大多数时间你都会醉。
So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don‘t remember a thing I said today, remember this: you‘re gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.
因此，杜兰大学2009届的毕业生们，祝贺你们顺利毕业！如果你们不记得我说过的任何话，请记住这句，一切都会好的，尽管跳舞吧！
